When we look for external things to validate us or make us feel worthy, we are missing that deep powerful connection & aliveness in self. If your looking for validation from men or women to make you feel attractive, loved or desired.. or if you need to be in a powerful high job that makes you feel worthy, or maybe you need to be helping others and doing good things to make you feel like you’re needed & loved..
All of this is outsourcing. So what if all of these things disappear then what are you left with? Often it’s feelings like - not worthy or good enough, feeling lost & alone. And when we do receive all of that from our external world, it’s like a quick fix, then it goes again & your left feeling empty & not good enough again & again.
So building up self worth, self love, self trust, self esteem, healthy boundaries is all super important for you to feel fully loved & valued from within.
Because you're insourcing how you feel. And that’s the magic. You have it all. And then when you receive from the outside world it’s a bonus, and it nurtures you rather than feeds you.. I invite you to journal on this. Where do you feel you outsource to get feelings of validation and worth? And how can you start to find that from within.
Relationship with self is the most important relationship we will ever have, So how do you feel about yours? Is it loving? Do you value it? Prioritise it? Do you accept yourself, spend time alone with yourself, nourishing, honouring and loving all of you?
Many of us think we have an ok/good relationship with self, some of us may have never even questioned this. But, when you really look within, are there parts that you judge, wish were different, maybe thinner, younger, more desirable, successful… what ever it is for you. Often we hide these parts of ourselves, and the way we truly feel about ourselves deep down under layers of personas/ personalities and masks we create.
But the reality is, until we look at these parts of ourselves, release the masks, and accept these parts we will struggle to fully love all of ourselves.
Much love beautiful’s. X
How do you go feeling all your darker feels & emotions? When you feel shame, guilt, anger, grief? What do you do with those emotions?
Do you run away from them or numb them out with food, alcohol, Netflix, unconscious sex? Or do you move toward them, feel them, dance with them, love them allowing them to flow?
For us to have full self love, acceptance & a fulfilled life, we must be doing the latter. Moving toward those feels with love & compassion.
If we don’t, we are just suppressing them deep into our shadow, and she’s holding on to them, building them up & the time will come where she lashes out with all of them. When she (the shadow) has had enough of being hidden.
And she, the shadow, those deeper feels & emotions, all she want’s is to be loved, acknowledged & integrated. So next time an emotion arises, I invite you to welcome it, dance with it, flow with it, move it through you..